today monsieur ryan gave me season 1 of MLP which made me incredibly happy :D and for the sake of it i moved the room around to rebuild the fort; much improvements were made so now its awesome and i dont get attacked by blankets and such :) either way YAY awesome day >.<
sometimes I’ll think that I’m not the one… I get into my head that if I lost 20kg, bleach my hair that ratty blonde colour with shit hair extensions than maybe he’d stop and stare at ME as I walk past! than there’s the other one, obviously still lose the 20kg plus an extra 10kg, cut all my hair off and be a full on gamer than I’d be more what he wants AND one...
pretending not to care cause that seems like the better option rather than explaining everything right now!
it’s hard not hating on somebody who I wish she would hurry the fuck up and die already! I have a serious hate for her but I have to wait; funny how he doesn’t even realise it but suppose I can’t expect everything from him I guess! -end rant-
you know that pizza burger thing that was floating around tumblr like 2 months ago…. damn I could go with one of those right now! got the munchies real bad
I just want to be anywhere but here; I don’t want to be at work, I’d prefer to be somewhere with him; screw customers wanting to buy things!
why do I get the feeling ive done something wrong :/ hardly seen him today cause I’ve had a conference call for work etc but feel something is wrong!!! mehhhhhhhhhhhh
so glad to be home… watching Jurassic park and getting cuddles with the person I love >.
“must like the same things as her so she thinks I’m cool… MUST impress her” seriously wtf is wrong with people! I think what shits me more is when people try to do that when they’re already in a relationship…I understand it when your single, you know try get their attention and what not but when your trying to impress somebody when your already with someone...
it’s weird when some of the things you want you don’t get cause your to afraid of asking for them! or worse when they do happen but it doesn’t involve you cause somebody else gets brought into the picture! hmmmmmm I don’t know, guess I’m just ranting!
I can still remember everything that happened! me crying and unable to talk, him yelling at me cause I wouldn’t listen; me screaming myself out on the front lawn; mum holding me in her arms whilst I cried! the arguments that followed… watching him pack his bag cause he was leaving for a night! my dreams were so messed up, i kept dreaming i was trying to find him and when i finally...
I’d do anything to look like her… most people would! anything just so I’m seen the same way for once; so I’m smiled at the same for once; so I feel like I add up to what she is instead of this… it’s hard to explain without getting into a fight with him!!!
wish he was lying in bed next to me… think I’m use to cuddling up next to him whilst watching a movie! eh cuddle the pillows instead! (rolls around in bed for five minutes to get comfy)
is it wrong to want to be “the one” it’s what I hope I’ll be everyday… but I feel otherwise! hello issues hiding in my brain somewhere; nice to know your still around!
when things are constant you can’t help but think otherwise! I hate thinking it I really do but as the above statement what more can I conclude to at the moment!!!!
reasons why I need to move out of home! 1) I get to play my music really loud 2)…. actually no number 1 is pretty much it!!!
all I want to do right now is cry… smiling is pointless most day for me at the moment!!
is thinking of moving away… to be away from all the things that keep upsetting me would be fabulous! might go a day without hating on the world for once….
had one of those days were I was told something/saw something I didn’t want to know! and it keeps happening… sigh I need sleep to overcome this mood.
I shouldn’t be intimidated by her… but I am! I have nothing to worry about right… so why am I worried :/
I’m so heartbroken right now… its like I don’t excist when she’s around! that’s not how’s it meant to go….
I feel fucking replaced!!!
oh thats nice… just fucking nice!!! dont fucking mind if i drink myself into oblivion than
that moment when you realise youve drunk too much that you cant stand up straight! fuck im loving this feeling right now…
it’s hard to smile when all you want to do is cry!!!
and than there’s that… now I’m in a foul fucking mood! the world can go screw itself and they can fuck themselves right now! fucking hell I hate her so much
no matter what, he always knows how to make me smile >.
it’s the same mindless arguements over and over again! I’m so tired of having my say when I feel like there is no point cause nobody is listening… I don’t know maybe I should just keep my mouth shut from now on.
sad face :(
I’ve been so body conscious lately… especially today! got home from work and decided to put on the dress I got especially for Beccs wedding this Saturday and lets just say I’ve put on weight! I feel like absolute shit that all I want to do is cry!! the only thing that is stopping me is the hugs and kisses I get from Lindsay; plus the occasional “I think...
all I want at the moment is to be at home cuddled up next to him watching tv… I’ve never wanted to be home so much before!!!!